Calls
by Xandy J
Summary: Two characters talk ... Updated.
1. Them

This fic is for Rob, if I was Willow, he would be my Xander.  
  
  
  
Calls  
  
  
"Does it get any easier?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Not being around the person you thought loved you?"  
  
"It's easier than not being around the person you love."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Did you love her?"  
  
"I did."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Do you still love him?"  
  
"Who? ... Oh, I don't know. Some part of me will always love him but things change. People grow old."  
  
"People grow up, not everyone has to grow old, you know."  
  
"Tell that to the grey hairs that will start infecting my head in a few years ... If I even make it that long."  
  
"I meant on the inside."  
  
"I guess. But it takes something I don't have - time."  
  
"Don't say that."  
  
"It's true, you know."  
  
"Do you?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Think it's true."  
  
"Of course I do. It's written everywhere, I was born to die."  
  
"I defy everything that was written about what I am, what makes you any different?"  
  
"I'm supposed to die, you're not."  
  
"You could just quit."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Stop slaying. You're not even the Slayer right now."  
  
"You're right, I'm The Slayer. With a capital 'T' and 'S'."  
  
"Just trying to put it in perspective."  
  
"I know."  
  
"You shouldn't have to die."  
  
"But I do."  
  
"All great heroes die."  
  
"That's what they say."  
  
"They shouldn't."  
  
"But they do. And they know everything ... Who is they anyway?"  
  
"Them."  
  
"Ah, how come I couldn't figure that out?"  
  
"Because you're busy thinking about saving the world?"  
  
"Yeah, that sounds like a good excuse."  
  
"Makes sense really - save the world or they who?"  
  
"I'm glad one of has a brain because these conversations would be a lot less interesting if you didn't ... Or maybe it'd be more fun if you acted like you were stupid?"  
  
"You're not stupid."  
  
"Right, that's why UC Sunnydale wouldn't take me back, because I'm smart."  
  
"That's their fault."  
  
"Tell them that."  
  
"I will."  
  
"You haven't wrote in a while." Sadness.  
  
"I've been busy lately."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"No, it's not that it! We haven't hit a post office in months." Guilt.  
  
"You don't have to if you don't want to."  
  
"But I do." Honest.  
  
"I do, too."  
  
"That always helps."  
  
"What?"  
  
"To know someone likes being written to by yourself." Adorable.  
  
"Yeah, it does."  
  
"But making a collect-call to them is better."  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
"You get to hear their voice." Sweet.  
  
  
  
  
Someone's voice over the line broke the conversation and Buffy wondered who it was.  
  
"I've got to go to a gig, Buffy. I'll send you some money for the calls," Oz told her.  
  
"You don't have to, I can handle it," she assured him, twirling the phone cord in her hand.  
  
"Yeah, but I've got to send this song to you in my next letter and two birds with one envelope," he said, making her smile. Oz logic was the best in the world.  
  
"Okay ... I miss you, you know," she said.  
  
"I miss you more," was his reply and she didn't argue because neither of them would win.  
  
"I'll talk to you later this week."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I love you," Oz whispered.  
  
"I know," she said, not knowing how to follow that up, she simply said, "Bye."  
  
"Later," Oz said and he hung up, a new song idea already in his head for this conversation.  
  
"I love you," Buffy whispered to no one. Silence. 


	2. Diminished Ninth

Diminished Ninth  
  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Get my letter?"  
  
"Yesterday."  
  
"Cool."  
  
"I loved the song."  
  
"We played it last night. Crowd loved it."  
  
"That doesn't surprise me."  
  
"Yeah. We had some record scouts out there. There's been some buzz that we might get signed."  
  
"That's great."  
  
"Way better than the Dingoes got anyway."  
  
"But you guys had it going pretty well back here."  
  
"Yeah. Have you saw Dev and guys in awhile?"  
  
"Just Devon. He asked how you were doing out in the vast spoils of America. I told him good, last I'd heard. I didn't know if you want him to know about …"  
  
"I know. I'll give him a call later or something."  
  
"He'd probably like that."  
  
"Oh, the only thing Devon likes wears tight shirts and short skirts. Last time I check I didn't."  
  
"I hope not because then I think I'd be talking to the wrong guy."  
  
"You don't feel like that already?"  
  
"No. Why would you say that?"  
  
"No reason."  
  
"Oh … Is something bugging you?"  
  
"Yes. No. Maybe, I don't know."  
  
"Is about last time you called because I wanted to-"  
  
"Just forget about it, Buffy." Exasperation.  
  
"I don't want you mad at me."  
  
"I'm not. I'm just … I'm just tired and agitated and … "  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm sorry. When you said that-that you loved me, I didn't know what to say. I-I froze."  
  
"It's understandable."  
  
"It's just that I … I need some time to … Deal with some things. Riley, my mom … "  
  
"I know. I get that."  
  
"I need some time."  
  
"I can stop calling for a while."  
  
"No! You're the only thing that's constant in my life, the only person that listens all the time."  
  
"I've been told I'm good at it." Joking.  
  
"And sometimes you've to talk too and I don't let you. There's just so much going on and I don't have anybody that will … "  
  
"Listen? I know what it's like to have to keep something inside. It's not easy. But we're pretty much in the same boat. Just far apart so it's a really big boat."  
  
"I just don't have any oars. I'm oar-less."  
  
"I think it's a steam boat."  
  
"I've got plenty of that."  
  
"You really should play guitar."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"It makes you focus on one thing. When I play it's like everything else just fades away. It's like a release."  
  
"Maybe I'll learn someday."  
  
"Maybe I'll teach you."  
  
"When you come back you can." Pleading.  
  
"When I come back."  
  
"Are you coming back?"  
  
"Someday."  
  
"I'll wait." Content.  
  
"I hope so."  
  
"So are we good now?"  
  
"I think we are."  
  
"So about guitar, is it hard?"  
  
"Depends how you play. If you play like me, it's not."  
  
"That's good. Too many difficult things in my life."  
  
"That calls for some R and R."  
  
"I've got too many things to do."  
  
"I've got promise to keep and miles to go before I sleep. Frost."  
  
"Good poem."  
  
"You've read it?"  
  
"What? Does everybody really think I' m that stupid?"  
  
"That's not what I meant. I didn't see you as a Frost fan. Poe maybe."  
  
"Poe's too dark."  
  
"I'm impressed. Poetry isn't what many people in Sunnydale think about."  
  
"Most people don't need to forget about everything else around them."  
  
"They just ignore it. You can't blame them really."  
  
"If I could choose knowing or not knowing sometimes I wonder what I'd choose."  
  
"I think I'd rather know. I mean, if I was a wolf three nights a month, I'd still want to know."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah. I mean, somebody's got to fight the good fight. And I figure, if this whole musician thing blows over, I've gotta be remember for something."  
  
  
  
Dawn's voice called about behind Buffy, "I'm home!"  
  
"Hey, Dawnie," Buffy said, and smiled.  
  
"Tell Dawn I said … Nevermind," Oz finished with a whisper.  
  
"I think she can keep a secret, at least this one," Buffy told him.  
  
"Okay," Oz said and smiled on the other line.  
  
"Dawn, Oz says hey," Buffy told her. Dawn stared.  
  
"I'll let you go so you can help her with her homework or whatever sister do," Oz said. Buffy snorted.  
  
"Me? Help with homework? I barely graduated," she reminded me.  
  
"Saving the world, remember?"  
  
"Good excuse, I'll use it next time something comes up, like life," she said.  
  
"Yeah, it's a classic. Talk to you sometime next week?" he asked more than stated.  
  
"Of course," Buffy said, smiling even though he couldn't see her. She wished he could.  
  
"I love you," Oz said but this time he didn't expect her to say anything.  
  
"I know," she almost winced as she said it. "I mean-"  
  
"I know," and Buffy could almost hear his grin. Which made hers go even wider.  
  
"Later," he said.  
  
"Bye," she whispered and hung up.  
  
Dawn poked her head over the refrigerator.  
  
"Oz?" she questioned.  
  
"Mmmhmmm," Buffy nodded and avoided her eyes.  
  
"How long has this been going on?"  
  
"Since he left," Buffy answered.  
  
"Does Willow know?" Buffy didn't have to open her mouth; her eyes answered for her.  
  
"Oh ... I won't say anything," Dawn told her.  
  
"Thank you," Buffy said quietly. She gave Dawn a hug.  
  
"So do you love him?"  
  
It was Buffy's turn to stare at Dawn. 


	3. Letters From Further Away

Letters From Further Away  
  
  
"Things still hectic?"  
  
"Glory doesn't take no for an answer."  
  
"Gods usually don't."  
  
"Speaking of which, knowledge guy, do you anything about her?"  
  
"Not that I can remember. But I could go through some of my books."  
  
"You sound like Giles. But thank you."  
  
"I'd still like to help."  
  
"Lie to me, tell me everything's going to be okay."  
  
"I don't like lying to you."  
  
"If I told you it would help, would you do it?"  
  
"If it really helped you? … I might."  
  
"Lie."  
  
"Everything's going to be okay. We're all going to live happily ever after and … Fish moo."  
  
"That is the first time I've laughed in weeks."  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't call you for a while. We got lost for about two weeks."  
  
"I wish you were here."  
  
"I do, too."  
  
"Two weeks?"  
  
"Yeah, Chad took a wrong turn … Or four. We got lost in Ohio."  
  
"But I did get your letter a few days ago."  
  
"The one from New York?"  
  
"Yep. What's it like there?"  
  
"The truth?"  
  
"Does it hurt?"  
  
"It's beautiful. The lights are perfect. If you get past all the litter and all the garbage it's the most amazing place in the world … I always wanted to go there when I was a kid."  
  
"It sounds like you loved it."  
  
"I did. I wanted to stay so bad."  
  
"Why didn't you?"  
  
"When you look at the city, it's like the rest of the world pales compared to it. But it makes you miss everything else that's out there because everything and everyone that matters should be there because they don't pale, they're just as perfect and beautiful as it is."  
  
"Wow."  
  
"Definite wow-material."  
  
"So maybe when you teach me guitar we'll go to New York."  
  
"I'll take you to CBGBs."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"It's a club. A punk club. Legendary."  
  
"Ah. Punk like Sex Pistols punk?"  
  
"Ramones, Punk. Pistols were UK. How do you know the Sex Pistols?"  
  
"Spike."  
  
"Should have known."  
  
"The people I know have the strangest taste in music, present company excluded. Giles and the Bay City Rollers, Spike and Billy Idol-"  
  
"Spike is Billy Idol." Amusement.  
  
"That's about the truth. Bad boy image and all."  
  
"You are amazing."  
  
"Nobody's ever told me that."   
  
"They should."  
  
"It's not true."  
  
"I've talked to you more than I've talked to anyone else in my life and you never cease to surprise me." Adoration.   
  
"With my stupidity?"  
  
"With your everything."  
  
"You're too good to me."  
  
"I think I'm good enough, not too good."  
  
"You're more than good enough."   
  
"It's good to hear that occasionally."  
  
"It's good to hear that you're amazing to some people."  
  
"Glad that it's good."  
  
"Sometimes I wonder if I'd stay sane without you."  
  
"I think you'd manage. I mean, think of the sixteen years before you meet me."  
  
"But I wasn't a Slayer."  
  
"I wasn't a wolf either."  
  
"We didn't have something that made us, well, I want to say freaks but that sound so…"  
  
"Crass?"  
  
"Yeah … Do you think we'd still need each other?"  
  
"I don't know, we were different people then."  
  
"We still are."  
  
"True."  
  
"I think we think too much."  
  
"Possibly."  
  
"How do you do that?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Manage to convey everything to feel in five words or less."  
  
"Practice. And being alone a lot."  
  
"Is that why you never talked that much around everyone? Because you were used to being alone?"  
  
"Yeah, my mom and dad weren't around much. Traveled a lot."  
  
"I realized how much I didn't know about you when you were talking about New York."  
  
"I'm a mystery."  
  
"More like a puzzle with half the pieces missing."  
  
"You'll find them eventually." Reserved.  
  
"I hope so … Is it late where you are?"  
  
"Vaguely."  
  
"We are you at?"   
  
"Ohio."  
  
"You must have really got lost."  
  
"Chad drives about like you, no offense."  
  
"None taken."  
  
"And he doesn't trust me with his van. It's like Giles's car but worse."  
  
"Is that possible?"  
  
"It is now."  
  
"What time is there?"  
  
"Midnight."  
  
"Wow. You've got to be tired."  
  
"Moderately but I'll manage."  
  
  
Buffy got up from her seat at the kitchen counter.  
  
"Well, since it's late and I'm supposed to swing by Giles's … I'll let you go," she said.  
  
"Okay. Tell Dawn I'll send her something next time I write," Oz told her.  
  
"I will. She misses you, too, I think. She says you were the only one other than Spike to treat her like an adult," Buffy said.  
  
"She's got a crush on him, doesn't she?" he asked.  
  
"Major. I don't get it," she said.  
  
"He's different. Older, darker, eviler than guys her age, of course she's going to go for that. Besides she might just be doing it piss you off," Oz joked.  
  
"Probably. Sometimes I think she's more like me than I'll admit," Buffy admitted.  
  
"She is you," he reminded her.  
  
"Yeah, but was I that annoying when I was her age?"  
  
"Of course not," he reassured her.  
  
"You're mocking me," she accused him.  
  
"Never."  
  
"You're using your sarcastic voice," she said.  
  
"It sounds like my regular voice, you know," he explained.  
  
"True … I'll talk to you soon," she told him.  
  
"Yeah … I love you," Oz said.  
  
"I miss you," Buffy whispered.  
  
"I miss you, too."  
  
"Bye," she said.  
  
"Later," he whispered and they hung up.  
  
"I am so stupid," Buffy said and sat back down on the stool she had been on earlier. She slammed her head on the counter. Hard.  
  
"I could have told you that," Dawn yelled from the living room. 


	4. Antilogy

Antilogy  
  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Dawn?"  
  
"Yep. Oz?"  
  
"The only."  
  
"Hey, how you been?"  
  
"Pretty good. You like what I sent you?"  
  
"Yeah. Thanks."  
  
"I thought you might."  
  
"Well, it's not everyday you get something signed by one of your favorite bands, you know. How'd you get a hold of it?"  
  
"I traded some guy one of our less good amps for it. It was a pretty good deal."  
  
"You didn't have to."  
  
"I wanted to. How you holding up?"  
  
"With Glory and all that junk? I just ignore it unless something bad happens. Then I just try and stay away from everything."  
  
"Sounds like a good plan."  
  
"If I want to stay alive it is."  
  
"Staying alive is good, except when it involves John Travolta and a white suit."  
  
"It's good to laugh. I haven't done that in awhile."  
  
"You should."  
  
"I don't really have much to smile about."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Well, my dramatic sister is making wild motions for me to give her the phone. Or she wants me to throw her a bone - Hey, rude, much?"  
  
"Yes, thank you. Hey, Oz."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"I hope she traumatize you too much."  
  
"Nah, we just about some stuff … Is it really that bad there Buffy?"  
  
"Truth?"  
  
"Does it hurt?"  
  
"Yes to both questions."  
  
"How are you doing?"  
  
"On a scale of one to ten, ten being not at all? An eleven point seven."  
  
"Ouch."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Do you need some backup?"  
  
"No, I think we're doing okay. Giles is going to take me to do some Slayer thing in the desert. It's supposed to help with … something."  
  
"Sounds like fun."  
  
"Mounds and mounds of fun. Mountainous fun."  
  
"Mountains are cool. I finally got to see the Rocky ones close."  
  
"Was it nice?"  
  
"Yeah. Not as nice as watching the sunrise on the beach in South Carolina."  
  
"I bet that was beautiful."  
  
"It was. It was like watching the sky and the earth meet. And when the light hit the waves just right, it made you feel alive, you know. It's breathtaking. But in a way humbling. You realize there is so much out there."  
  
"What's it like beyond Sunnydale?"  
  
"You don't remember?"  
  
"All the times I was away, I wanted to forget. And my past … That is embarrassing. I was such a ditz."  
  
"When you're out of Sunnydale, there's still death and destruction. But it's sadder. It's like, people are doing it, not demons. It makes me glad that I knew you guys. It gives me hope that the world is still good somewhere."  
  
"And here of all places."  
  
"Ironic."  
  
"Very."  
  
"Would you miss it?"  
  
"Sunnydale? Maybe. It depends where I was, who I was with, why I left. All those questions."  
  
"If you could just walk away from it, right now, would you miss it?"  
  
"The place? It's home, I'll bitch about it but I still love it. The people? I'd die with out them. Even Spike. What about you? Do you miss it?"  
  
"Yeah. Even the demonic stuff. Which is morbid but true. Sunnydale's innocent in a way. The people still want to go on living even if they know about all the things that go bump in the night. Granted, it gets most of them killed but they still want to be normal. Everybody else out there wants to be the opposite of normal. And they live their lives waiting to die. And in Sunnydale, they don't. Want to die, but they still do."  
  
"And the people that want to die, they get lucky and don't. Die that is."  
  
"My kingdom is a paradox." Hushed.  
  
"That it is."  
  
"It's best that way. Surprises you."  
  
"Sometimes surprises aren't good."  
  
"Yeah. They sneak up you and yell 'surprise.' Scary."  
  
"Mocker."  
  
"I am not Ringo. I'm the Lennon."  
  
"Poetic and charming."  
  
"So some say."  
  
"Some?"  
  
"Jealous?" Waggish.  
  
"Nah because I'm sure it's Chad that tells you these things."  
  
"More than you know."  
  
"I definitely have to meet him."  
  
"He'd get along with Xander."  
  
"Scary thought, almost as bad as surprises."  
  
  
A knock on Oz's door interrupted what he was about to tell her.  
  
"Gig in ten, man," Chad told him. He took a step back towards the door, then turned around to face him.  
  
"Buffy?" he mouthed. Oz nodded. Chad flashed him a thumbs-up sign and retreated from the room. Oz shook his head.  
  
"Looks like my cue to go," he said.  
  
"Yeah, I don't want to keep your adoring fans waiting," she teased.  
  
"I thought you were my adoring fan," he joked.  
  
"What made you think that?" she asked.  
  
"Well, you did call me charming…" he began.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I want you, let me strum your guitar, I need you, oh baby, oh baby," Buffy deadpanned.  
  
"I thought so," Oz laughed.  
  
"I'll let you go. Knock 'em dead, Ozzy."  
  
"Same to you," he said half amused.  
  
"I miss you, you know," she said quietly.  
  
"I know…" at first she thought he was going to leave it at that but she heard him say, "I love you."  
  
"Bye, Oz," she said and smiled.  
  
"Bye, Buffy," he said.  
  
They disconnected and Buffy sat at the counter thinking. She had realized how much Oz had changed a few minutes ago. He was more open about things. And there was something else. He sounded happy and she couldn't help but think it had to do with not being around the Hellmouth.  
  
Now, she was torn between wanting to be where he was or having him with her in Sunnydale. 


End file.
